Dona Nobis Pacem

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"Peace At Home: Wake Coalition Against Domestic Violence Silent March"
Raleigh, NC - October 13, 2009

For more  on the subject, click through on the image.

"He strangled me, beat me, and left me for dead on our hallway floor."
-- Michelle

"Whack! Across my face it swept. Didn't see it coming. But then I rarely did. It was as if there were a draft in the room. Cold air seeping. Energy being sucked out."
-- Won

Peace. What a wonderfully nebulous concept. Formless and shifting and impossible to define in absolute terms. We only know when we don't have it. On the global scale, I seem to remember someone saying that in the entire course of recorded history there have been fewer than 20 days when there was not an armed conflict in progress. That's a pretty bad batting average. But consider peace on a smaller, very localized scale. Consider that we can't last nine seconds in the US without another instance of domestic violence. When you think in those terms, it doesn't seem surprising at all. How will we ever get two nations to come to the table if we can't get two people there?

"To the outside world our family seemed normal; a respected father, adored mother and well behaved children. We played normal so well."
-- Kristina

"He would lash out with a knife or his fist and I would be where his anger would land."
-- Kelly

Coalition forces in Iraq and Afghanistan have suffered 6266 fatalities since the wars there began in October of 2001 (source http://www.icasualties.org/). A soldier's death is a tragic loss to every one of us. But the courageous men and women who wear our nation's uniforms assume that risk. They stand in harm's way in our defense, knowing that it could cost them their lives. It is not my intent to minimize that honor and sacrifice. I hope only to give context to another casualty figure.

The Domestic Violence Resource Center (http://www.dvrc-or.org/) estimates that three women and one man are killed each day in the US by their spouses or intimate partners. Using that estimate, in the same period (2949 days) since the commencement of hostilities in Southwest Asia, DV-related homicides have resulted in 188% (11796) of the number of Coalition fatalities. There are no embedded journalists, no 24-hour coverage on CNN and the headlines are usually relegated to Page 3. But nearly twice as many women and men have become casualties in a war that is fought behind locked doors, in dark corners by people who profess to love the ones they kill. A war that none of the casualties enlisted to fight, a war that none of them expected to find themselves in. And certainly not one they deserved.

When did "home" become more dangerous than a combat zone??

"Humiliation, pain, self-disgust and hatred were the price of marriage. Love meant being hurt. I cried at night when no one was listening."
-- Naimhe

"...he found out about the restraining order and proceeded to break it - and me - into tiny little pieces."
-- Rachel Ann

These are the ones who must leave it to others to tell their stories. They cannot speak for themselves, and so I hope to speak for them here today. I hope to do right by those who have fallen, and by those who still have hope of escape. Because there are hundreds more every day who are not killed, but are only an arm's reach away from being the next fatality. In 24 hours, the clock ticks 86,400 times. And every ninth tick brings with it another instance of domestic violence. Nine thousand, six hundred times since this time yesterday, someone was beaten, abused, perhaps even murdered.

Peace on earth?

How about we start with Peace at Home?

"I have been demeaned, belittled, hit, kicked, cussed out and stifled. I have been sexually abused. I have been all of these things and most people who know me are completely unaware of it.

I am just like you." -- Cary

To see what the rest of Bloggeritaville is saying on the subject, go visit Mimi Writes.......: Dona Nobis Pacem. and maybe leave a link of your own there while you're at it.

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