Thursday, April 15, 2010

55 (x2) flash fiction friday #72: conversation for one - ii/iii


listen
Be with me.
But not with me.
Not where we breathe the same air.
Not where you can touch me.

Listen to me.
When I say nothing.
Or speak in riddles.
I know you understand.

Talk to me.
But don't say too much.
Don't say anything too meaningful.

And never ever say, "I love you".

M6Friday: 55FlashFiction Graciously hosted by G-Man.

unperson
I was real once.
Once.
I had eyes, ears, arms...

And a heart.

I wasn't an RSS feed to turn off when I ceased to be amusing.

Real people, they're messy. They eat, sweat, shit, bleed...

And feel.

You liked the real person. Once. Or so it seemed.

Or maybe not. I don't know anymore.

M6Friday: 55FlashFiction Graciously hosted by G-Man.

Alternate Endings
If you've been hanging around for the last few weeks, you've heard about the "Alternate Endings Party Game" I started a while back. Originally it was just a single 55 that I thought could be spun a bunch of different ways and I invited people to fill in the blanks. Then someone carpe-ed some diem and wrote one for a different story, so the game expanded. You can find both of the original stories and the alternate endings at the link above. If you feel the muse, have a go at either of the ones already listed there or any others you might feel like. As people add to them, I'll expand that section to include any that people pick up. No rules, just write (to paraphrase the Outback Steakhouse commercials).

Titanium has already jumped on the first of these two with an amusing look ta unconditional love.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

19 comments:

Titanium said...

Well, I went there. My alternate uh, ending, should be in your inbox right about now.

You've written- no, engraved- emotion in these two.

hope said...

Not often a gal's mistake gets all Latin-ed up to sound pretty. :)

I like the first one but the SECOND one really spoke to me. Job well done!

And if I ever get some time this weekend, I promise to come back and play. By the non-rules rules this time. ;)

Brian Miller said...

wow. both are tight with emotions...i feel the second one at times...nice 55s...and one day i will get around to doing an alternate...

my 55 is up!

G-Man said...

A double-dose of brilliance this week eh Mojo?
Most excellent 55's...
Thank You Ti, and Thank you Mojo, It's always a treat!
Have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

clean and crazy said...

these are still awesome both 55's!! you both are so talented and i love reading your work

Peter Stone said...

Both awesome 55s, I especially liked the first one, which describes many a relationship, I believe.

And the second one too, real people are messy. And still worth the effort.

My 55 is Molten Words

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

I really like the second one.
Well done, Mojo!
Very honest and I can truly relate.
Mine's up here
Hope you will like it.
Have you a BLESSED WEEKEND!
hugs
shakira

Fireblossom said...

I like them both. I especially like the line about the RSS feed.

lisaschaos said...

People actually delete rss feeds? Never! :0)

Yvonne Osborne said...

I like them both.

Real people are messy. And needy. And always talking at the wrong time and saying the wrong thing.
And emotional
I like emotional.

Thanks!

Leslie said...

Like them both- just getting my feet wet in 55 words. For goodness sake I don't say thank you in 55 words.

Cheers
Moondustwriter

järnebrand said...

Wonderful. They both were. I could relate to the top one the most, I think. Nice 55s. Love/ Jo.

Hootin' Anni said...

Good stuff Mojo!!!

Loved your 55 [s].

Sunrise in the City ---as always, scroll down below my Show n Tell. Hope you're having a terrific Friday!!!

5thsister said...

very intense and raw. loved them both!

chitowngreg said...

Really nice, thanks. Reminds me of the lines from Kahlil Gibran about love and being together, but not too together. My first attempt at a 55 is up as well. Have a good one!

Aayushi Mehta said...

Both were wonderful and brimming with so much emotion. Loved them. Totally.

PattiKen said...

These are both terrific, very powerful. I've e-mailed you an alternate ending to "Listen."

Vodka Logic said...

You speak the truth.. so well.

Thanks for the inspiration.


My 55 is posted

Lil Bit said...

It's been too long since I've been over here ... so much going on in recent posts I've read that are incredibly revealing, heartbreaking and vulnerable.

You often ask me, so now I'm asking you .... you ok, hon??