Dress Codes Blow. (a.k.a. Basic Black: There's a Reason It's a Classic)

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Last post you heard me mention the cheapazz clothing I bought at Wal-Mart after the big Dress Code Memo came out and I got sent to the principal's office for wearing jeans. In that kind of context, a full explanation wasn't really possible. But I'm still pissed off enough about it to rant a little.

Our story begins back at the end of September. OfficialSpam-style email message sent to the entire agency from the Executive VP. Apparently there had been "complaints" from visitors to the building about employee dress. Now I've seen a couple of people wear things that I wanted to complain about, but I figure if those individuals are secure enough to wear such then who am I to tattle? (Hint: If, when walking away, you resemble two VW Beetles having a demolition derby under a tarp, step away from the leather pants because... damn!) So the Exec sends out a memo to the whole livin' world decreeing what "Thou Shalt Not Wear to Work".

This affected me mainly by disallowing jeans -- of any style or color. Black jeans have been a staple of my wardrobe for many years and had pretty much taken over my choice of trousers for work attire. Understand that if my job required me to interface with clients in person I would put a bit more effort into my apparel. But my job pretty much keeps me sequestered in a basement-level cube-farm far from the eyes of the public. But okay, they sign my paycheck, they make the rules. But after returning from a four-day training adventure in Reston, VA I adopted my usual black jeans with Hurricanes polo on Friday (which has a relaxed dress code) and was almost immediately dispatched to Human Resources to genuflect and perform acts of contrition for my sins. Really, a word of warning form my supervisor would have been sufficient. A visit to the principal's office seemed a bit over the top. How much of my time, my supervisor's time and the HR person's time had to be wasted in order for me to be properly chastised for my fashion sense?

It got worse. Shortly after my sojourn to HR we had a departmental meeting to discuss the issue. No, I'm not kidding. The entire IT staff was sidelined for 45 minutes or more to lay down the law. It was at the very moment that the meeting adjourned that I made the decision to uniform myself. So the following day I set about acquiring a suitable uniform.

I briefly entertained the idea of getting several sets of khakis from the army surplus store. But that would've brought back some bad memories, so I jettisoned the idea out of hand. The next idea, though, proved to be the one I adopted. And after prowling through Marshall's (where I found a bonus: a black Columbia leather jacket for $99), Old Navy, Rugged Wearhouse and TJ Maxx I finally found what I was looking for at Wally World. Three pairs of black cargo pants (not jeans!), six black dress shirts, enough black t-shirts and socks to supplement what I already had and a new reversible leather belt (black AND brown... can you beat that for versatility?). (You should know -- or at least understand -- that this trip represents several years worth of normal clothes shopping for me, which is what makes it blogworthy.)

This might seem a bit much just to make a point. And you might think that it really accomplished nothing except costing me a couple hundred dollars I didn't need to spend. And you'd probably be right. But there are benefits. For instance,
it's been nice not having to worry about what to wear to work for the last 4 or 5 weeks. Just grab the next black ensemble in line. It also forces me to do laundry every week which prevents the mountain-sized piles of dirty clothes piling up in the laundry basket. And since everything's one color, I can do it all in one load. Bonus!

Then there's that whole Zorro look I have going on now. So far it hasn't gotten me any traction with the hottie up in legal, but I guess there's always hope.

So... to quote one of my favorite all-time movies: "It's all happening".

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