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Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Looking For A Few Good Thoughts For a Friend
Got a text message just now from a dear friend who's at this very moment sitting with her stepdad in a hospice unit. He doesn't have much time left, I don't think and she could sure use some good thoughts. If you've got a second, leave a comment for her. I'll make sure she gets them. Thanks.Stumble This!
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21 comments:
I never know the right thing to say to people going through such a difficult time, but I hope your friend and her stepdad are both able to find some peace and comfort.
-smarmoofus
Few words provide significant comfort when dealing with loss, the ones below have come the closest to easing the burden.
Love to your friend...
“The only way around these things is through them. So if you bury your dead, bring a shovel, if you burn them warm to the fire. Look into whatever riddance you consign them to. Lend a hand, stand and weep or watch and wonder. But stay until it's done. Keep the names of your dead alive among your people. You get one father, one mother , one true love , one life and maybe a couple of good dogs. There is no easy way to do this. So do it right: weep , laugh, watch , pray, love, live, give thanks and praise; comfort, mend, honor and remember.”
jc
May God ease the pain of You & your Dad in the best way possible. Mat You and you Dad find Peace in greatest of great measure.
People may not remain with us physically for ever. But they always remain alive in our self , our thoughts our memories. Do not think them as dead. They are just gone.
(((HUGS)))
mona
I hope that your good memories will sustain you now and in the future. He is not gone, as long as he lives in your memories. May peace and serenity and acceptance come into your life as you wait for the inevitable.
Mojo, thanks for the visit.
two sentences from sparky or jc's comment stand out to me and bear repeating:
"Lend a hand, stand and weep or watch and wonder. But stay until it's done."
do what you're strong enough to do; if you can only stroke a person's arm then stroke their arm. give them a sip of water if you can. be at their side.
First, any friend of Mojo's is, by definition, a friend of ours.
Just being there is a blessing, to you and to him. In the end, time is the most precious gift we have. And when we lose those who matter most, we hold onto memories of those times and know that life extends beyond how we've traditionally defined it.
My shadow has graced the halls of too many hospital rooms and corridors this year. But for the loved ones I've spent time with in those dimly lit, scary places, I know that my being there was everything to them. As is yours for your stepfather.
May his memory always be a blessing to you and your family.
My best wishes to both of you, and Mojo too.
May they both find Peace that Passes Understanding.
My thoughts and prayers are with your friend and her father. I hope she finds some comfort in the memories.
May there be as peaceful a passing as possible and a warm resonance of his days left in yours once he's gone from this earth.
Transitions aren't easy, but they can be survived until brighter days find you.
Good idea, the words of friends can be as valuable as quiet togetherness.
I got to spend some time with my mom last weekend. She's in a nursing home for over 6 years, completely dependent because of MS. Feeding her some vanilla shake and teasing her about the vodka we didn't sneak into her juice made her smile, which was more than worth the price of admission.
Being there is good, you can't go back and redo time. Peace to you.
I'm sorry for your loss - and I say that even though your step father hasn't yet passed... when people have been ill for a long time, we lose them in stages and we grieve in stages. At least I did. My mother died slowly over the course of 18 years. I mourned each stage of her dying. And when she was set free I grieved but I was also relieved - for her and for myself. That's ok. It's also ok to want it to be over even as part of you wants it not to be over. It's very confusing and paradoxical and nothing you feel or do or say can possibly be wrong. Love is love and it's there and your step father knows it. I hope that he has a sweet and gentle passing and that you will feel at peace. God and the angels are watching over you both.
Times like these, no matter how inevitable, leave us feeling unprepared and that there is something more we could or should do. Tell your dear friend that we are with her in spirit. Just by her presence at her stepdad's side she is giving him everything. If she brings a smile to his face, or lays one on his heart, she lessens his pain. He will live on in her forever because of what she loves most about him and the times they shared.
Someone once asked me if I had the choice of going back in time to visit with my late father but have no memory of it, or living my life with all the memories I have, which would I choose. The memories, of course! I can visit him any time through those.
God bless you and keep you.
I just picked up a card by Leigh Standley that says:
"There are some who bring a light so great to the world that even after they have gone, the light remains." On the side are the words "thoughts and prayers."
At whatever point it seems appropriate, pass these thoughts on to your friend.
I may not be the best with words, but I have lost love one and know the pain and sometimes empyiness that is there, my heart goes out to her and her family. Focus on the love and happiness that was shared through the years.
how blessed you are to be with him at this time. remember the love, remember the laughter, and remember that death is not the end-all we sometimes fear it is.
i am sending my prayers to you and your family.
My thoughts are will you at this hard time in you life. Know that there are many new and old friends who are thinking about you at this time. Try to stay with him as long as you can so he can feel your love and care. Good luck, whatever happens. You are in my prayers.
When any of my loved ones passes away I comfort myself and the rest of our family in the thought that there was nothing we could have done for that person that we did not do.
It really does help to know that you loved them completely when they were alive and will remember them fondly always....
Hi thanks for dropping by my site on wednesday One of a Kind Wisconsin. The post you commented on- was actually a picture of my Dad- he died in hospice in May of last year at 56. There isn't really much you can say to a person at that time- in my experience... but time passes and it gets easier I suppose. I still miss my Dad a lot, but I am glad to not be in the moment of saying goodbye again. Gotta go- I suddenly feel really sad.
My comment is coming in late... but please know what I am saying is sincere. This can't be easy... and nothing I say here will make anything better. Life this side of heaven is just not perfect. But we can have hope and God lightens the load with the hope if we just have faith. Heck, He will even give you the strength you need to keep your faith strong if you just ask.
Take care of yourself. May you feel the hugs from all these people and the ones from God. (He never lets go.)
i got this late (it ended up in my spam pile), so I apologize for the late comment.
I don't really know what to say. I hope they were able to reminisce the good times, but just being by each other's side is great support for the whole family.
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