friday time sink: black vs. blue, beck vs. duck, tech sector wtf, and the answer to everything

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Heh. Who can resist Jack Black anyway? I know I can't. Especially not when he's taking on the Teas. I just can't help myself... The (Mis)Informant.

Wait... What? This? Is Brilliant.
Jonathan McIntosh and Rebellious Pixels, calling a spade a spade. Oh, and Glenn? That Second Amendment thing? You might have something there... heh.

And I thought I could time sink a Friday... this guy is my Yoda. Just his "5 Tips For Surviving the Facebook® Blackout Crisis" alone is worth its weight in pixels. Want to be up on the latest in social networking? Want to know what it feels like to go viral? Want to know the latest Strat-egies of successful leveraging? Alex Blagg is your man. Just ask him.

The answer to everything

Last Sunday the world went a little nuts over The Perfect 10 business. You know, "10/10/10"? Seems like everybody in the world thought this was an auspicious date for one thing or another. Even in the Far East where ceremonial stuff doesn't usually play by the Gregorian Calendar. There was apparently a run on the wedding market (which might help explain why the latest trend in spam seems to be wedding/engagement rings, wedding gowns, and other such paraphernalia). Some church in Korea had a mass wedding that saw thousands of couples jump off...er... take the... er... tie the noose knot. More popular among the geekier of us was the fact that it was another "binary day" with 101010 adding up to 42 in the decimal number system. Turns out that was the most auspicious event of all. At least according to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

And with that I bid you ... Happy Friday!

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friday time sink: a tree blows in brooklyn, gummi fuel, family fail, and just a... fail

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Quick, before this bit blows itself out. A tornado is one of nature's most powerful and destructive forces. Winds inside a tornado can reach 300 mph or more, making even a Category 5 hurricane look like an April shower. If a tornado is sighted near you, you should seek cover immediately in an interior room on the ground floor staying away from windows and remain under cover until the danger has passed.
Someone forgot to tell these two Darwin Award contenders who seemed to be bent on making the short film "A Tree Blows In Brooklyn". This might be forgivable if the entire dialog hadn't consisted of "Dude! Oh My G*d!" and "Dude looks at this!", "Dude a f***ing tornado for sure!", "Holy sh**!" and... "Dude!" repeated ad nauseum. The one saving moment of the film was that the destruction of the tree was rather impressive. But the handling of the subject matter was wholly uninspired.
Enter the Gregory Brothers to the rescue, making this whole train wreck slightly palatable with the autotuned version. But even the brilliance of Schmoyoho can only do so much for these morons who aren't even as bright as the neighborhood dog. And it might be contended that without the Gregory's help, these two would have vanished down the rabbit hole of obscurity they should have. Whatever.

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Probably conceived by the same folks who brought us the Mentos/Diet Coke Rocket, this video is more of a public service than its creators even realize. If this technique can be perfected, it could not only rid the world of those insidious Gummi Bears (and worms and fish and whatever-the-hell-else they've gummed up) but it could also give us an alternative energy policy that could drastically reduce our dependence on foreign oil -- or just oil in general. After all, if sugar can hyper power a kid, just imagine what it could do for a car.

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See, this is what's wrong with television today. Richard Dawson would have smoothed right on over this. Seriously.

For realz.

Sorry Steve, he would've.

Without autotuning.

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Wait. What? Never mind the arguments of genetics, environment, choice and what have you. The latest tinfoil-hat theory to come out of Grumman's Theater of the Absurd has finally answered the question "What makes some people gay?" (What it doesn't address, of course, is why this question is still a question that apparently needs answering.) Whatever. Let's see the Gregory Brothers do something with this one.

On second thought...

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This is SO Wrong.

The colors are totally in the wrong order! It should be Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Violet. Remember 5th grade science class? Roy G. Biv? Ring a bell?

And with that I bid you ... Happy Friday!

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friday time sink: ww i ends; katy perry the next double rainbow?; and finally... what it means.

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This Just In: WWI Is Over
Believe it or not, even though the Armistice was signed almost 92 years ago, Germany is still paying off the reparations of World War I. (Talk about long term debt -- I thought my credit card balances were bad...). This is why those firms that buy out structured settlements and annuities are so successful. It's also a glaring example of what can happen when you go about agressing all over the place. (Are you listening Washington?)

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Time Sink, already in progress...

The latest news on The Street (that's Sesame Street, not Wall Street) involves a controversial appearance by Katy Perry. The singer taped the segment wearing a dress with a sheer, flesh-toned bodice that Certain People thought too revealing. The dress apparently so traumatized Elmo that he bolted from the set in the middle of shooting. George Stephanopoulos recently interviewed the allegedly scandalized muppet (who routinely appears on the show naked) on Good Morning America, during which interview Elmo defended Ms. Perry saying "Elmo loves Miss Katy" and "We had a good time. So we’ll have another play date."
Rumors of a Tea Party-endorsed worldwide boycott of figure skating events, where such costumes are de rigeur have circulated widely but to date have not been confirmed, though sources close to the party did note that "Ellmoe's fir is rad." For English-speaking audiences, the approximate translation is "Elmo's fur is red". The belaboring of the obvious was presumably a reference designed to connect the long time TV star to the "red states". Elmo's agent, Grover, could not be reached for comment. One unidentified source who is reportedly close to Ms. Perry was overheard saying, "It's not like she kissed Prairie Dawn or anything. Besides, the dress wasn't all that."
In an unexpected development, the Fox Network sided with Perry offering her a live action role in an upcoming special episode of The Simpsons. In a statement to EW.com executive producer Al Jean said, "In the wake of Elmo’s terrible betrayal, the Simpsons puppets wish to announce they stand felt-shoulder-to-shoulder with Katy Perry." Could this mark a crack in the bond between Fox and the Tea Party?
Less unexpected was Perry's appearance on Saturday Night Live in a sketch spoofing the singer's ill-fated duet, as SNL struggles to remain relevant.

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Two questions arise out of the uproar. The first is whether or not it can be leveraged enough to push it to meme-dom and even further into a viral state. There is some indication of attempts to bring that about based on events that have taken place in the wake of the controversy. Early indications are mixed however and it seems unlikely that the double D can overtake the double rainbow as the next mega-meme given the unprecedented staying power of the double rainbow event. The second question could play a large role in determining the answer to the first however and that is whether or not the Gregory Brothers will pick up the thread with an autotuned version of the original Sesame Street segment. Should that happen, analysts have observed, the potential for even ultra-viral growth increases exponentially. We can only watch and wait.

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Q&A: *sigh* The Question (Or: You didn't think I'd do an FTS without a Double Rainbow reference did you?)

And finally an answer
Will Wheaton's Return to Sanity Rally?

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friday time sink: best case for the big V i ever saw

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Okay what's funnier than a 3-year-old explaining what she heard coming from Mommy and Daddy's room after they thought she was asleep? Okay, yeah maybe the talking kitty from a coupla weeks ago... and the chicken band was pretty funny... But besides that? Yeah, an autotuned version of the same kid-vid brought to you by the same guys that brought you the Double Rainbow Song. Ya'll don't drink and surf okay? 'Cause that shit hurts comin' outcho' nose. Peace, yo!

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