Showing posts with label phone sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label phone sex. Show all posts

Monday, July 14, 2008

Fungilingus

13 comments
It's hard to believe that 12 months ago Raleigh was in the middle of the worst drought in its history. (check me on that one, but I'm pretty sure I recall that correctly.) Lake levels plummeted to a point where a 90-day supply of drinking water was all we could maintain. And even that took conservation measures the like of which I can't remember in my lifetime. This year, we're tilting toward the other end of the spectrum as rainfall for the last 30 days has been roughly double the 100-year average. Still, we've been below average for the last 18 months -- and quite a bit below average for most of 2007, so it's taken this sodden July to bring us back to equilibrium.

This same thing happened in 2002 and 2003, though not to the extreme of the current pattern. The summer and fall of 2002 was -- at that time -- the worst drought of the last 100 years and was followed in 2003 with one of the wettest summers on record that did not involve a tropical weather event (hurricane or tropical storm).

So with all of the moisture, what can we count on? Fungi, that's what. All shapes, sizes, and colors of fungoid creations. Some of which make very interesting photographs -- especially viewed up close.



"On The Ledge"
Raleigh, NC - July 2008

This is growing on the stump of what used to be a gi-normous oak tree in my back yard. It wasn't there a couple of weeks ago, but it's taken over the area now.




"I Don't Know Why"
Raleigh, NC - July 2008

This colorful specimen is one of those things I just found interesting and I'm not sure why.



"Talking Heads"
Raleigh, NC - July 2008

If you want to make something of this one, I suppose that's up to you. But it reminded me of the sleeve for the Talking Heads' single "Psycho Killer" c. 1980. And that's all I'm sayin'.



"The Twins"
Raleigh, NC - July 2008

Now this one ... well, when I happened upon them my first words were "Why, hello Mary Kate! Hello Ashley!" (After all, a guy can have only so much restraint ya know.)


Next time, I'll try "Latex and Lace" or "Latex: The New Leather"

After almost 18 hours, Google has only sent me one visitor who's both hungry and horny. My spaghettio's and phone sex post got one hit that brought somebody here. Interesting how it happened though. Tampa FL found me using a search on "healthy spaghetti o's". Two things disturb me about this. First is the whole concept of "healthy spaghettio's". And second, how bad is your ADHD if you went looking for "healthy spaghettio's" and were diverted by a discussion of spaghettio's and phone sex?

The Age of Rock & Roll

I know that I am growing older and will one day be old. I grudingly accept that the songs that were popular when I was in high school are not being played on "oldies" stations and in elevators across the globe.

But the latest Foreigner tour being sponsored by AARP??. I did not see that one coming.

Some of you will think I'm kidding, so check it out for yourself. This came in the periodic newsletter I get from House of Blues.


Thu, Jul 31 AARP Presents: Foreigner HOB Myrtle Beach 7:00pm

I'm telling you I couldn't make up anything this good.

Criminal Stupidity

The latest lottery/inheritance scam to hit the shelves in stores is kind of amusing. Apparently people weren't quite stupid enough to believe that a bank in Nigeria was holding millions of dollars in their names, so the newest crew to try this angle decided to dumb it down a bit. Their schtick is to pose as the FBI (Honolulu Field Office no less!). I'd guess this choice of disguises is designed to give some credence to their stern (but vague) warnings about dealing directly with people claiming to be agents of the paying bank. Or something. The threat... er...warning might have more impact if you could actually understand what they're saying.

The email came with the subject line: Federal Bureau of Investigation and a return email address of officemailbox23@gala.net. What's so hilarious about this is that if you actually go to gala.net the site is in Russian (or some language that uses Cyrillic characters anyway). I guess the Red Scare really is finally over. I'm also pretty sure the FBI has proofreaders for official correspondence. Which I'm sure they'd use if they actually sent out official correspondence about me winning a lottery that I never bought a ticket for. In a way I kinda feel sorry for the people who try to make a living this way. Something tells me they won't do well in prison.

The letter goes like this:

We the Federal Bureau Of Investigation (FBI Honolulu) United States Of America have discovered through our intelligent monitoring network that you have a transaction going on as either inheritance payment,Lottery or contract payment of $1.5 Millions of United States Dollars which have been approved but have not been settled.

This is to officially inform you that we have verified your contract / inheritance file ater close monitoring and found out why you have not received your payment,both on your part and on the part of your debtors.

Secondly we have been informed that you are still dealing with the non officials in the bank who are attempting to secure the release of your fund to you. We wish to advise you that this is illegal and you should stop further communication with them forthwith because such an illegal act like this can lead to cancellation of your fund.

We have been having so many complains from people who have been scammed arround the world hence,after concluding in a meeting with members of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), we came to a conclusion that every payment will be made through the Oceanic Bank in the Republic Of Benin . We also concluded on the use of ELECTRONIC ATM PAYMENT SYSTEM as the only direct means to pay all beneficiaries.

By this method,your funds will be loaded in two batches into an ATM card, and sent to you, from this card you can withdraw a maximum of us$15,000 per day from any ATM machine worldwide,BUT from the financial houses there is no limit.

So if you would like to receive your funds in this way please send your following information to the paying bank.
1. Full name...........................
2. Full address.............................
3.Your balance payment............................
4. Your age, sex and current occupation- ..............
5. Your Country..............................................
6.Your Phone Number....................................

Below are the contact details of the PAYING BANK(Oceanic Bank) in the Republic Of Benin to whom you will send your information for the processing of the ATM card as soon as possible:
CONTACT PERSON REV DR MATHEW OBI
HEAD OF OPERATIONS,ATM CARD PAYMENT SYSTEM
DEBT SETTLEMENT COMMISSION,WEST AFRICAN OCEANIC BANK
370 CHURCH STREET,PRETORIA,
E144QJ REPUBLIC OF BENIN
EMAIL: oeanic_benin@live.fr
DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER: +22993865077 .
The DEBT SETTLEMENT COMMISSION has been mandated to issue out your payments for this fiscal year 2008. Also for your information, you have to stop any further communication with any other person(s) or office(s) who claim that to be established agents using it to defraud innocent people worldwide. This is to avoid any hitches in receiving your payment.
THANKS FOR LISTENING TO OUR ADVISE
Faithfully Yours,
MR .ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
FOR COROPORATE AFFAIRS
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI Honolulu))
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA


PT Barnum was right.
Stumble This!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

SpaghettiOs and Phone Sex

6 comments
No, as far as I know there is no relation between SpaghettiOs and phone sex. (Oh, how I wish!) I mean I guess either of them would do in a pinch as a possible substitute for the real thing... but together?
However... a title like that is sure to trigger a veritable avalanche of hits from search results. And I'm just a Google whore.
If this doesn't work, next time I'll throw in the words "webcam" and "leather". Somehow. I will find a way.

I am incredibly sleepy right now, which given that it's 5:45 on Sunday evening is a little unusual. It's not as though I ran around town all weekend partying like it's 1999 again (when I was ... 9 years younger than I am now and could hang). So if you know why I'm having to prop my head up with a 2x4 in order to finish typing this, would you please clue me in? Softly, though, because I'm hoping to get to sleep early. Er.

Possibly related (but who knows?): it seems that everybody I know is either getting sick (or sicker) themselves or has a loved one who is. And I'm not talking about nagging cough and congestion kind of sick. I'm talking about seriously-chronic-maybe-deadly kinds of sick. Holiday Telethon kinds of sick. Should I be feeling this guilty about being (relatively) healthy? I'm sure I shouldn't. After all, I'm not the one who decides who gets sick and who doesn't. But I spent 33 years of my life sucking on tobacco smoke, probably 23 years sucking on fermented beverages of one kind or another. My cholesterol gets checked every decade or so whether it needs it or not, and I see a doctor in every Olympic year. Winter Games for sure -- Summer too if something happens to indicate it. The bottom line here people is that I'm a firm believer in the adage: "Eat right, Exercise, Get Plenty of Rest... Die Anyway".

So why is it that I'm not sick? Why do I not have some dread disease that It Would Serve Me Right To Get? Is it because somebody needs to be healthy enough to lend support to those who are sick? Do I just get lucky? Or is it -- as I have suspected for years -- simply that no self-respecting germ would live in this body? Curiouser and curiouser.
Stumble This!